REFLECTIONS ON THE WAYS OF ND’ EHUGBO (AFIKPO)
(By G A Agwo)
(Uwe Ndu) WEARING OF BLACK DRESS WHILE MOURNING THE DEATH OF A HUSBAND IN EHUGBO
Originally published in AFIKPO TODAY magazine: Vol. 1 No. 8 (Jan – Dec, 1997)
It is common knowledge that everybody is born to die. Some die a day or less after delivery while very few live beyond a hundred years before passing on. Every death of a human being causes grief to some people especially in the family circle. Every death is, therefore, mourned but with varying intensity, duration and ceremony.
Let us briefly reflect on the way wives mourn the death of their husbands as it concerns mourning dresses in Ehugbo.
A husband dies and is buried. The wife has to mourn her deceased husband. Ehugbo custom does not provide for a long or tortuous mourning and certainly has no specific type of dress to be worn over a period of time in the name of mourning clothes.
Therefore, the craze by Ehugbo women for “wearing and removing” of mourning clothes is sickening. It is one of those baseless imitations that strongly mark an inferiority complex. Have they ever reflected on: why those other Igbo women who put on mourning clothes for a year invariably remain the “property” of the family for life? If still young they bear children for that family and in the name of the dead husband. The average Ehugbo widow remarries and leaves the late husband’s compound within a year or two.
Why could an Ehugbo woman, under the native law and custom have children spread in more than one village in Ehugbo while the first husband is still alive? What does “marriage suspension” mean in Ehugbo? What is the difference between Ima Uwu (expiation) after fattening room (Ulo Ubu) by girls about to join their husbands, and the burning/burying of mourning clothes (Uwe Ndu) on the eve of Christian outing by fresh widows? Of course, every honest Ehugbo indigene knows that ima uwu is downright fetish. Is it a case of a pot calling a kettle black?
The writer is aware that the night before the removal of the mourning clothes, those one year old “black dresses” are pulled off, burnt to ashes and the remains buried beside the dead husbands grave. The poor widow, on the outing day changes into a really expensive brocade or lace material with head gear, ear rings, necklace, bangles and foot wear to match. An equally matching hand or shoulder bag completes the apparel. Virtually every Christian mother goes for something different from the ordinary. You can trust them for gorgeous outings. Feasting and other joyous ceremonies associated with the widow’s outing compare favourably with a typical society wedding. Borrowing and sorrowing are not excluded. If you are “specially invited” and you fail to go, note that you’ll remain ‘debtor’ to the widow until you pay.
Please note very well that these practices are alien to a typical Ehugbo widow.
